My Love

Like the sky misses the moon by day, I miss you,
But when I see you it’s like you were never gone.
Like the ocean misses the shore, I miss you,
& it is only to you that I’m drawn.

Like the dew drops kiss the flowers, kiss me,
Your lips pressed against mine, long and slow.
Like the strong wind in a storm, uproot me
& take me to some place I don’t know.

Like the raindrops on my window sill, sing to me,
Your voice spreading warmth through my soul.
Like a cup of hot tea on a cold day, comfort me,
Hold me like you’ll never let me go.

Like strong entwined roots, stay with me,
Together, into each other we’ll grow,
For, my love, there is no one like you,
& you are my forever more.

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Why I Love You

I love your smile. That only-for-me smile. I love how your eyes light up when you talk to me about all your experiences. I love the way you look up in defeat and whine when I get the better of you. I love your laugh, it’s so innocent and child-like. I love how much I get to learn from you, how you know so many things that I have no idea about. I love how deeply you analyse everything, not satisfied until you know every detail.

But more than all of that, I love how you make me feel. I love the sound of my laughter echoing yours. I love the shiver I get down my spine when your lips touch mine, when your hands run down my back. I love how important you make me feel, like I’m your whole world as you are mine. I love that you know everything about me, every single thing that’s led to who I am. I love how you criticise and challenge me, making me want to be better every day, for you.

But most of all, I love how we happened: So unexpected and out of the blue, like a whirlwind that took us and left us exactly where we wanted to be… And exactly where we will be for the rest of our lives.

How Did I Find You?

How did I find you?
A love so unreal, so true.
A love so sure, so strong.
A love so right — so wrong!
A love so familiar, yet something I never knew:
How did I find you?

Good Riddance

Sitting here, in the aftermath, reminiscing,
I’ve come to realise that its not you I’m missing.

I miss those days devoid of your memory,
I miss that feeling I had of being free
from this burden of guilt that you’ve given me.

I miss not having to take the blame
for every time that you felt ashamed.

I don’t want you back, I’ve had enough,
And I know that, on you too, this has been tough.

Even though, on me, this has left a mark,
On a new journey, I’m going to embark.

I’m taking with me all that I remember of you,
And every little thing that you taught me too.

But I’m leaving behind all of this mess,
And I still will not think of you any less
If you cannot grant me your forgiveness.

The Solo Flight

The feathers loosen slowly,
In the strong wind they’re flapping,
The wings are taking too much strain
And slowly they are snapping.

The eyes that were once filled with hope
are now seemingly hollow,
The voice that once lit up his world
Now sings a song of sorrow.

The charm is lost, the smile is empty,
The life has left her face.

He can’t tell why, he doesn’t know
His angel is in a dark place.

Regret

All these songs sing our story;
They tell it like you would,
But the listeners don’t know
everything that they should.

They don’t know the dull pain
that is slowly killing me inside;
They don’t know the sleepless nights,
those dreams through which I’ve cried.
They don’t know how much
I’ve fallen in my own eyes,
They don’t know how much
I want to take back all the lies.
They don’t know that as I write this
tears pace down my face.
They will never know what it means
to live through this disgrace.

This is my punishment,
This regret I wake up with every morning,
This burden of mistakes from my past
that will never be forgotten.

The Ape Convoy

It was unreal. I’d constantly pinch my thigh to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

My thighs — he loves my thighs. I’ve always found my thighs the ugliest, after my nose. Such a narrow (relatively) waistline, that goes down to form the broadest hip bones and even fatter thighs — oozing with cellulite. Disgusting.

But he doesn’t think so. He thinks I’m beautiful. He tells me often. I see it in his eyes when he stares, I feel it in his touch when his bare hands hold the small of my back, and I hear it in his voice when he sings for me.

And there he was, sitting inches away from me, teasing my lips with his. My dream guy. The one I’d waited all my life for. The love I never thought I’d get to experience. The love, that at one point, I was convinced did not exist.

It’s funny how all it takes is one person to completely throw you off balance and make a perfectly sane life seem absolutely crazy; or maybe, in my case, a perfectly crazy life, absolutely sane.

My fingers fit so easily between his.

Lying in bed, entangled, we were like two adjacent pieces in a puzzle. His smell, all over me, and mine, all over him; his warmth filing up my insides, spread throughout — and my soul smiled.

We were approaching the end of our magical weekend, his city calling him back, demanding of us both, the journey of a cruel distance. I’d have to wait a whole month to see him again — to taste his smoky lips, to feel his warm breath, all over — to run my fingers through his dreamy hair.

“I want you to try on my shirts, choose the one you like most and keep it.”
“I’d like that. I want to remember your smell. I need to. I don’t ever want to forget.”

So I tried them on, all three — and I chose.

A military green t-shirt, that smelled just like him: smoky, faintly musky, and laced with a soft sweetness that I associated with his bare chest and soft earlobes. It draped perfectly on me, hanging lightly off my shoulders — as if he was there, running his palms along them and around my waist, as if he was there, slowly tracing my curves with his fingertips. The print on the front had an ape holding up a gun, and below that it read, The Ape Convoy.

We were kissing, passionately, lying down, and hands all over each other — oblivious to the world. I pulled back and giggled. He grinned and we laughed, for perhaps a minute, but one that seemed to outdo itself — and then we were back at it, or so we hoped – for I did it again!

We’re laughing now, heartily, heads thrown back.

“You have to stop baby! Because I can’t, unless you do”, I beg.

But he won’t listen. He can’t help it, and neither can I. Smoking up wasn’t the best idea after all.

His deep laughter, accompanied with my high pitched, quirky, gasping for breath kind, formed the most beautiful melody that still lingers on in my head. A melody that wouldn’t stop, till our sides began to hurt and our sanity came into question.

He tightly gripped my waist, kissed my smiling lips and whispered on them, “I love you”

And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite.

You

We come from different places, we’ve seen different things;
We lead different lives, we’re puppets on different strings.

We’ve loved different people, and somewhere in our heart
we’ve buried their essence, even though they are apart.
They are a part of us now; they have shaped us in many ways,
Their words are embedded in our minds,
They saw us through our darkest days.

But now they are gone, those people; gone is the echoing laughter.
Gone are the ones, with whom we thought we’d spend our Happily Ever After.

“If the ending isn’t happy, it’s not the end”, they say.
And never did I understand that… until you came my way.

Let you go

Its not easy to end this; its not easy to let you go,
But it is high time we realised that we both need to grow.
Along with us, an enormous part of me dies too,
A part that only you nurtured, a part that only you knew.
You shaped and moulded me and made me stronger every day,
And gave me the security that you would always stay
by my side, through it all, no matter what or who,
And despite what I threw your way, it was a promise you lived up to.
And thats why I love you, because how can I not?
For all the things you’ve done for me and all the times we’ve fought,
For all the long hours that we’ve spent on the phone,
For all the long drives, just you and me alone,
For all the gentle kisses and all the hugs so tight,
For all the deep discussions, telling the wrong from right,
For all the times you listened to me sing without complaining,
For all the movies I didn’t understand, and you didn’t get tired of explaining,
For all the experimenting and trying things we never thought we might,
For all the times we burst out laughing in the middle of a fight,
For all the times I shouted in public at you and you didn’t care,
For all the times that you didn’t shout but let me off with a glare,
For all the times you had to convince me that I was not terminally ill,
For all the times you didn’t have a choice but to take me to the hospital,
For all the times you never let me down when I put your love to test,
For all the times you told me it was okay sometimes to not be the best,
But most of all for just loving me and accepting me with open arms,
And in that special embrace you shielded me from all harm.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone like you after we part,
But I do know that you will always hold a special place in my heart.
And I know its not easy to end this; its not easy to let you go
But it is high time we realised that we both need to grow.

Goodbye

I’ve a feeling this is not the end,
This may not break us; it’s just a bend;

This may not be the dreaded Goodbye,
Just a quick kiss and perhaps a deep sigh.

We want more and we always will,
It’s too bad that we have a conscience still.

Maybe one day we’ll meet when we’re free
From all the things that we could not be;

Until then,

Kiss me good bye and make it easy,
For I’ve a feeling this is going to get cheesy.