Karma

Merciless, calculating and cruel,
She’s someone you can never fool;

Try as hard as you may,
She knows what you’ve done, and for that you will pay.

She knows where you’ve been, She knows whom you’ve hurt;
On people like you she has tons of dirt.

So don’t think that out of this mess you’ll find a way,
For you will regret what you did every single day;

She’s ruthless and hunts you down with verve,
Promising to give you what you deserve,

So next time think twice before you do something out of spite,
Because, trust me, you don’t want a wound from Karma’s bite.

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Sinking

Standing at the edge of the deck
With a broken heart and tears shed,
She is a total wreck;
Disheveled hair and eyes red,

Waiting for a wind so rough,
Something she will be unable to endure
So that she can finally get enough;
And get away from this uneven floor.

Nobody said it would be this hard,
Losing a loved one;
But now she is shattered; she is scarred
And her reasons to live – none.

So a rough wind blew and she swayed without thinking,
Into the cold, rough sea fell she;
Further and further down she went, until nobody could see,
Was she finally free or was she sinking?

Who am I?

I quietly lie, crouching in the shadow,
Waiting for someone to  bring me through the door;

My master commands and I obey,
Where do I go? She shows the way.

There she stands, that vulnerable soul,
Looking at me coming her way, oblivious to my goal;

Laughing and talking with her circle of friends,
Little does she know I’m going to bring that to an end…

I’m going to be the death of her social life,
I’m going to be the reason for endless strife.

For I spread so as to destroy, perhaps like a tumour…
Who am I? They call me Rumour.

Aftermath

Is it unreasonable to ask if you would still want to be friends?
Is it unreasonable to think this is not where it ends?

I would understand if you can never forgive me,
I would understand if you want nothing to do with me,

Nobody deserves to feel this way,
Nobody deserves to live in fear everyday.

What I did to you was distasteful and horrid,
I never thought I could stoop to that level of sordid.

But now, the music I’m ready to face,
I will make up for this disgrace.

Trust

That sheepish look and hopeful glance,
Will not, my love, change my stance;
That nervous laugh and gentle touch,
Does not, my love, matter much.
How can you think this guilty smile,
will make me forget what you were doing all this while?
How can you think its okay to break
a promise we didn’t even need to make?
What did I do that irked you so,
lead you to bring me such a blow?

To those three words you bring disgrace,
Shame on you and your innocent face!

Nothing you say or do will make me trust you again,
From Love, for a while, I’ll have to abstain.

“Be daring, be …

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the common place, the slaves of the ordinary.” – Cecil Beaton

I love this quote so much that I have it framed it put on my desk so I can keep reminding myself to try and imbibe it in my lifestyle.

Why is it important to be daring, different and impractical? Simply because there are way too many fearful, monotonous and practical people out there and you really don’t want to add to them.

Why play it safe when you can tread on the untaken path? By that I don’t mean be a Columbus, I just mean break the monotony; question the rules.

Be curious. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but if it hadn’t been curious it wouldn’t have known that it had eight other times to live!

Rescued

There was a boy – Heedless and free,
Wandered about without a care,
Consumed by life was he;
Oblivious to darkness and despair.

Although stubborn and never hesitant to put up a fight,
His idea of Good and Bad was always in Black and White;
No matter what, he never did stray
From the white, onto the Grey.

There was a girl – Confused and Weak,
With a focused and brave exterior;
Inside she was lost and bleak,
Insecure and consumed by fear.

Although she tried to be strong,
Her sense of morality was all wrong;
Someone needed to help her set her priorities straight,
And for that someone she had to wait…

Fate decided it was time to come into play,
And She planned and plotted and made their lives entwine.
It didn’t just happen one fine day,
It happened slowly and gradually without any sign.

At first it was just two people getting to know each other;
Nobody really thought it would go any further…
But the fall began to get steeper
And they began drowning in it deeper and deeper.

It started off fresh and fierce
Their lives were being woven together,
He built her a safety net and wiped away her tears,
He was her shade in stormy weather.

But she was mindless and easily swayed
By all the demons that came her way;
Not once did she think of all the ways she made him hurt,
Not once did she try to brush off the dirt.

She dived into a whirlpool of sin,
Yet he always gave her the benefit of doubt;
She never flinched; she never let him in,
And soon a cold war between them broke out.

Refusing to reconcile with him, she walked away;
But he never believed that she didn’t want to stay;
He never understood how she could let him go this easy,
Thinking of life without her made him queasy.

So he made a decision to win her back,
In deed a decision tremendously brave,
For he knew she was a hard nut to crack,
Little did he know how long a path this decision would pave.

Slowly and gradually he opened her eyes,
Slowly and gradually he watched each demon inside her die.
The girl was brought to a world which to her was unknown;
A place where she would never be alone;

For he always stood there by her side,
His words and thoughts lingered on her mind.
Light filled her life; true bliss came her way,
It was something no one could ever take away.

He stood there watching, his eyes filled with pride,
At this new girl he created with all his patience and love,
She knew that there was no one like him she could find,
He was made for her, sent to her from above.

He took her by the arm and helped her leave behind the mess she made,
And this time when the demons came to her, she never swayed.
Hand in hand they walked towards a better tomorrow,
Setting foot away from chaos, betrayal and sorrow.

There is a boy – Cautious but still free,
Bent, but not broken is he.
Fate once gave him a rough blow,
But he got back on his feet and he’s good to go.

Now there is a girl – Focused and strong,
Carefully staying away from the wrong;
No longer is she bleak and subdued;
For he is her hero and she is rescued.

Wings and Roots

Freedom. What does the word mean to you? People mistake it for being able to do what they please, as they please and with whom they please. My interpretation of freedom is entirely different. Freedom is such a beautiful and strong word. It needs to be used with care.

I think of freedom as a choice more than an allowance. Even in confinement, one can always choose to be free. To be free from all the trouble life brings, the shallowness we see, the temptation we often fall prey to, the pressure from society, the need to be noticed. Freedom is based on perception. There are poor people who are not free to do what they wish to because of money constraints while there are rich people who can’t do what they wish to because of societal constraints. Life is filled with ifs and buts, and it’s too short to give up by playing by everybody else’s rules.

The answer to living wholly is not by being wild and inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, it is to not stop yourself from doing what makes you happy even though it may not be the ‘socially acceptable’ thing to do. Freedom is a way of thought; it is a way of approaching every problem that you are faced with; it is the assurance you give others that you will never judge them no matter what because that is what you expect in return.

Freedom requires one to know where they belong, where their calling is without forgetting where they come from.

Freedom is acknowledging your roots while spreading your wings… Because not all who wander are lost.

A Day in the Life of Layla

“Good morning dad!”

Its only 6 am and I’m tired as fuck but yes lets go for a swim. Because there is nothing more important than exercise.

So I quickly brush, put on a pair of shorts, eat my daily peeled almonds and drive off with dad to the pool. Mom can’t make it today because she’s not well. So I walk into the club and all eyes on me, no not because I’m hot, but because I’m wearing shorts. And in this city if you’re showing more skin than just your palms and your face perhaps, people stare at you like you’re an alien. And the men gawk at you like you’re naked. 

Anyhoo, I swim around lazily for nearly half an hour trying to maneuver my way through annoying kids and fat women flapping their way about the pool thinking they can swim. My dad swims continuously, looking at me like I’m an idiot when I stop for a break to catch my breath.

Time for a long hot bath in the locker room – my favourite part! Yay, now I smell nice and look pretty ( and tanned ). My dad and I sing a couple of lame songs on our way back and stop for the usual coconut water from our usual coconut water guy. 

Back home, and I have to prepare breakfast since mom’s not well. I hate working. I’m so anti-housework its not funny. Like my mind simply refuses to wash clothes, vessels, prepare meals, set the table. Ugh, I hate it. I do it, but I hate it.

I’m done with breakfast and I come back to my room. I’m supposed to be doing something productive but I sit and watch 90210. YES 90210. Can you believe it? I mean initially it was a good show, but then it got pretty screwed up and now its just fucking beyond recovery. I’m supposed to be looking for a summer internship, because its nearly summer. I don’t know what to look for, because I don’t know what I want to do! Is that weird? I’m doing undergrad and I’m so confused about which field I want to go into. Everything seems appealing and repulsive at the same time. Its like “Oh yeaahh I totally want to be a marketing executive. Marketing executives suck.”

Oh and just when things can’t get fruitier, my boyfriend decides to be a fucking jerk. “I’m going to do exactly what I want, I’m going to speak to whom I want, I’m going to hang out with whoever I want, but you? You’re under my control bitch”. Fuck you, boyfriend. 🙂

Oh and then my mom comes to my room and gives me a career lecture. “You should really become a blah blah blah. Why don’t you enroll for the course? I told you right from the beginning…. blah blah blah”. 

Its noon now and I realised how pointless this entire article was. I signed up for blogging because I needed a way to vent. Thanks for listening (or not).